City Business Church

It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing. - Damazio 3:16

Name:
Location: Washington DC, United States

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Worst.Blog.Ever.

Word on the street is City Bible is still running around telling everyone this blog is horrible. Which, of course, pleases me to no end. It means they're still reading it. So CBC let me share something: What's really horrible is how many people have left your church, because there is no way to change the church from within. This blog is really just a byproduct of your preaching. But whatever... In keeping with the "Worst.Blog.Ever." theme, let me share a hypothetical knock knock joke between me and Pastor Frank. Catalyst: Knock Knock Pastor Frank: Who's there? Catalyst: Interrupting Cow Pastor Frank: Interrupt- Catalyst: MOOOOOOOOO! Pastor Frank: Catalyst, you're an idio- Catalyst: MOOOOOOOOOO! Pastor Frank: I'm leavi- Catalyst: MOOOOOOOO! (I find this joke works best with those individuals aged 5-11, the immature demographic). (And yes, I'm bored.)

17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Freakin' hilarious!"

Nate, Age 5

5/07/2005 07:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never thought you would stoop to that level Cat. Just when I thought you couldn't get any lower you go and do that...

AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF.

5/07/2005 10:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best.Blog.Ever.

Actually the Christmas songs were the best blogs ever, but this is pretty good.

5/07/2005 11:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's kinda like OJ or M.Jackson....if you are not doing or have not done anything wrong/shady/questionable....
.
.
.
.
there is NO reason to hide, spend big bucks on obnoxious attorneys, get your passport in order and amass a large amount of cash, or attack.
.
.
Go figure.

5/07/2005 03:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your bordom ... our knee slapping entertainment

5/07/2005 07:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Interrupting Cow said...

Quoting anonymous:

I never thought you would stoop to...

MMMMOOOOOO!!!!!

5/08/2005 09:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's one of my favorite jokes ever. I guess I'm about 8.

FICM

5/09/2005 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger Double It said...

Well I do not think you are frekin hilarious! I think that the wrath of you know who is going to come down the mountain and bring judgement to all of you! This might not just be the worst blog ever, its the worst face ever!

5/09/2005 04:34:00 PM  
Blogger financialblessings said...

excellent post doubleit. i agree about the face part. (insert smokers laugh now) (wheezy and frightening)!!
what I believe to be truly unique about our little site here is all the bitter dogs and cats likkin' each others' boo boos. wah frikkin wah.
I find your poisonous and (self inflicted) crippled spirits to be morbidly entertaining as well--kinda like Jerry Springer Show, just without the suit (you cloak your poverty by mishaps, Oregonian tree bark shirts, tea and sympathy.

how do you qualify for this gig? get fired from 7 jobs for a resurfacing death fixation? fail the bar exam? go to a church that has an amazing ministry run off the back of cheap illegal labourers--now that's ideal. educated men and woman of the cloth, imported from the mountains of Peru, clothed with humility and potato saks (like the pun), and released (from the belltower) on sundays only to preach.
I'm having way too much fun.
in the words of Thom Yorke," I will eat you alive" LOL

5/09/2005 05:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think “you know who” is Pastor Hank and I think the only thing missing Double It’s post is an echo machine saying:

“ETERNITY…ETERNITY…Eternity…Eternity…eternity…eternity…”

5/09/2005 05:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The worst face ever….. yeah, I agree. This is the worst face ever.

5/09/2005 05:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey financialblessings,

What the eff?

5/09/2005 05:44:00 PM  
Blogger fedup95 (i still have my rock somewhere) said...

People make me laugh.

5/10/2005 01:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ETERNITY. Don't get me started. Plagarized from "Heaven's Gates, Hell's Flames," totally unethical, a money-maker for CBC which has allowed "he who copyrighted someone else's material" to climb the ladder...and it's a farce to boot. In my CBC days, I prayed with dozens of people who responded to the "altar call" at the end of Eternity, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM WERE CHRISTIANS.
So, the claims about how many souls have been saved is just plain LUDICROUS. It's God's kindness that leads us to repentance, NOT FEAR.

OF COURSE the CBC members are the most frequent visitors to this blog. VANITY. They've always been famous in their own minds, and this blog gives them a bit of validation for that...which is pretty twisted considering that all of us are former inner-circle CBC-ers who have seen past the image they work constantly to project...

I completely agree that there is no way to significantly change the church from within. I've literally seen letters from Frank Damazio written to members in leadership positions who "dare" to express their thoughts about certain church practices, in which he essentially said "I guess this church isn't the right place for you; you should find another church home." NOT "thanks for serving," NOT "thanks for using the brain God gave you," NOT even a PC/faux- "thanks for your input, we'll consider it..." just a "if you can't agree with every word that proceeds out of my mouth, then bye-bye."

What must one do to rationalize that kind of church? That kind of Christianity? That kind of ministry? That kind of LIFE?! Can you say LOBOTOMY?

THANK THE LORD I'M FREE FROM THE MATRIX!

5/10/2005 09:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Back when CBC started doing eternity plays...I had a dialogue with Mark Estes (circa 1996) about how could CBC plagarize Heaven's Gates, Hell's Flames...

His answer was something to the tune of, "God's Word is not copyrighted, and therefore Eternity plays were plagarizing nothing."

It is great to see someone else (another anonymous) saying the same thing!! Thanks.

5/11/2005 11:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that’s the same excuse they use when the copy Hillsong’s cd covers, conference ads, …

5/11/2005 12:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

True, God's word is not copyrighted...but CBC makes LOTS of money from Eternity and they know it, so...shame on them.

5/11/2005 07:35:00 PM  

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